I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
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Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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