I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Your cock deserves a montage
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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