meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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