this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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