I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
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I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
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My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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