so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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