Your face is a jimmy john
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
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Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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