Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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