I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
