Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
