i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There r osticjed everywhere
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
