so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
