if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
