every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
