Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
