Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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