Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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