your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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