Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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