my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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