My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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