you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
