I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
