it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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