I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
