By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
