just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
