I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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