i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
