God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
