My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
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New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
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I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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