Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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