Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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