I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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