Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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