Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
