yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
