Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
