we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
