He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
bring money and cleavage
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
