I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
