Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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