eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
