okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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