God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
