her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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