The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
