I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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