i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
