I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
