Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
