mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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