I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
