the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
so much tequila, so little girl.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize