yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
