i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
