You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
