I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
