my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize