hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Acid is not a monday night drug
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
