My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize