The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
