I need help removing her.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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