When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
