My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
